Church Humor (1)

Posted On January 22, 2010 In Category Humor Collection

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. “Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.
“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, “Did God throw him back down?”

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A Sunday school teacher asked the children, just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, “Because people are sleeping.”
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A missionary preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some tiger hunting. As he rounded a corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a tiger collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news. The bad news was that the ferocious tiger was charging at him from a distance and he could not move, “Oh, Lord,” the preacher prayed, “I am sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish… please make a Christian out of that tiger that is coming at me. Please Lord.” That very instant, the tiger skidded to a stop, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud at the preachers feet: “Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive….”
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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning son.” “Good morning pastor,” replied the young man, focused on the plaque. “Sir, what is this?” Johnny asked. “Well son, these are all the people who have died in service,” replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Johnny’s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, “Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?”
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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!