Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal. The following are questions that have actually been asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials.

“The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”

“Were you present when your picture was taken?”

“How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

“You were there until the time you left, is that true?”


Q: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
A: “No.”

Q: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
A: “No.”

Q: “Did you check for breathing?”
A: “No.”

Q: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
A: “No.”

Q: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
A: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”

Q: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
A: “It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

—–

Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
A: “Yes.”

Q: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

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Q: “All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?”
A: “Oral.”