Sign making from the English-language challenged

At a Budapest Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Hotel Acapulco: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Supermarket, Hong Kong: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a dress shop, Hong Kong: Ladies have fits upstairs.

Tailor shop, Rhodes: Order your summer suit because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.