For Lexophiles (Lovers of Words):

A backward poet writes inverse.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Oxymorons:

  • Act naturally
  • Advanced Basic
  • Almost exactly
  • Alone together
  • Clearly misunderstood
  • Definite maybe
  • Diet ice cream
  • Exact estimate
  • Found Missing
  • Genuine imitation
  • Good grief
  • Living dead
  • New classic
  • “Now, then…”
  • Passive aggression
  • Peace force
  • Plastic glasses
  • Pretty ugly
  • Resident Alien
  • Same difference
  • Sanitary landfill
  • Silent scream
  • Soft rock
  • Sweet sorrow
  • Synthetic natural gas
  • Taped live
  • Terribly pleased
  • Tight slacks
  • Working vacation