The following list was compiled by master funsmith Bernie DeKoven and is a summary of what his wife Rocky and himself do to have more fun in their relationship (they have been married for over 45 years). I had the privilege of meeting both of them a few months ago in New Mexico and they were still in love & simply inspiring to be with.

When I grow old I want a relationship like that.


Between us:

  1. Accepting each other’s differences, limits;
  2. Admiring each other’s talents;
  3. Appearing in an outrageous outfit;
  4. Appreciating each other’s success;
  5. Being funny;
  6. Being kind to each other;
  7. Buying each other something special at the grocery or hardware store;
  8. Changing the rules;
  9. Dancing spontaneously, sometimes without music;
  10. Doing silly things;
  11. Encouraging each other to do what each of us most wants to do;
  12. Generally, not keeping score;
  13. Leaving notes;
  14. Listening to each other, asking questions, getting clear;
  15. Little acts of improvisation, spontaneous skits;
  16. Making a face out of raisins and bananas;
  17. Making each other laugh;
  18. Making meals for each other;
  19. Paying attention to each other;
  20. Planning;
  21. Playing games;
  22. Respecting each other;
  23. Sharing memories;
  24. Surprising each other;
  25. Touching each other;
  26. Trusting each other;
  27. When one of us looks happy (singing, humming or smiling) it makes the other happier;
  28. Who ever gets up first makes breakfast in bed for each other.

Between us and the world

  1. Being kind to others;
  2. Being with the kids and grandkids;
  3. Bringing new people into each other’s lives;
  4. Building junk sculptures on our walks;
  5. Deciding together about how to spend and save;
  6. Experimenting;
  7. Exploring different paths;
  8. Helping together;
  9. Inventing;
  10. Learning something new together;
  11. Listening to bird songs, trying to sing along;
  12. New uses for common objects;
  13. New ways to “make do”;
  14. Noticing flowers, smelling, touching;
  15. Pointing out things to each other that we think the other would enjoy;
  16. Pretend conversations as we walk by people, e.g.: “Where did we leave that body?”;
  17. Pretending;
  18. Sharing chores ? keeping things fair, in balance;
  19. Solving household dilemmas;
  20. Speaking in accents;
  21. To animals, insects, plants;
  22. To other people (family, friends, strangers);
  23. Trying new spices, fruits, foods, etc;
  24. Trying out new restaurants, grocery stores, parks, neighborhoods to visit, roads to travel;
  25. Walking and talking;
  26. Walking together.