According to a variety of surprisingly uninformed sources, there’s at least a slim (or fat) chance that the apocalypse, currently scheduled for 2012, probably won’t happen until 2013. This could be considered good news. I am nonetheless certain that for those who are around to have a retrospect it will do little to ameliorate the anticipated impact. That doesn’t mean we should be any less prepared. Though it does raise the question: how, exactly, does one prepare for the apocalypse?
Article by Bernie DeKoven, FUNcoach
After years of research into both scientific and parascientific recommendations for pragmatic apocalyptic preparation, I am sad to report that I have found no consistent advice. Apparently, apocalypses happen. And that’s about all there is to say about it. I mean, when a meteor comes afalling from the skies, what’s a dinosaur to do?
On the lighter side, there’s a highly relevant question for those who could very well prove fortunate enough to be, as it were, left behind: what steps can they (the left-behinders) take today to assure a positive, constructive, and even beneficial après-apocalypse experience?
One step would be to consider, without further contemplation or fact-checking, the very possibility that you will be among that number.
The next step, insofar as it is highly likely that you will be doing a lot of running, heavy lifting, throwing things, crawling, ducking and covering; would be to engage, without further ado, in a variety of intensively regimented exercise regimes.
A side benefit to the survival value of your regimented exercise regimes, should you indeed find yourself post-apocalyptic, would be your buff suitability to participate in what will surely prove to be the Sport of the Future: the Post-Apocalympics.
Many and varied might be the events of the Post-Apocalympics, not the least of which being the Shard Put. Given that it might be difficult to find a good shot to put, and that shards will prove relatively ubiquitous, the Shard Put will undoubtedly become the most hotly contested event of the entire Post-Apocalympics. Especially in the first year or two, when the majority of shards might still be measurably hot, in one way or another.
One could also safely assume that there’d be many trackless field events such as ditch-jumping, hurdle-crawling and stick-vaulting.
The sport of Hurling will, of course, take on an entirely different meaning, but will prove no less popular than it is today. The triathlon will probably consist of a broader range of activities, such as downhill rolling, puddle-jumping, and staying very, very still.
All of which is to say that this is a very silly article. And yet, despite all this silliness, there is a message worthy of your contemplation. Whether 2012 happens as some predict, worrying about things like impending, unavoidable doom really won’t help anything or anybody. On the other hand, having fun, thinking about fun, being fun, is, well, a lot more fun. As your personal FUNcoach, my recommendation to you is that the best way to prepare for the end of the world is to celebrate life while you have it.
FUNcoach Bernie DeKoven will offer a keynote address at the Fifth Annual, All America, 2010 Laughter Yoga Conference, August 26, in Albuquerque, NM, followed by a 2-day workshop in “Playfulness as a Life Skill.” See http://funcoach.org/events.php